I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
