Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
