I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
