you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
