i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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