The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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