do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the day after is always just damage control
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
where are my eyebrows?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
