allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
