Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
