After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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