i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just had sex bonerless
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize