wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
