Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
