You're my little dorito
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize