Will you blow on my dice?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
