you mean i was at the winter classic?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize