She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Randomize
