Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
