New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
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