i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
