My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
