R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
