I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
as a side note pls kill me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
