dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
