You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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