Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
