if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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