people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
