dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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