I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize