you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
