It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize