u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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