If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
