CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
