who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
