Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
