I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
