if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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