i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
