vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize