we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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