you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
