i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
