Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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