clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
