I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
