We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I didn't notice because vodka
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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