Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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