addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
