once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Are my feet made of real feet?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
