Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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