I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
