By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
