just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
