Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
