woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
