You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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