Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
