Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
