probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize